onerthes | Deerington Inbox

[Max's voice is hesitant at best, and full of forced normalcy.]

Hi, Vira-Lorr. Uh. I just wanted to ask how you've been! And if you're on the ship.

[The voice on the other end was shakey, but steady. It had been a couple days. Vira-Lorr knew that something was up after her freak-out session at the Doctor over the new years kiss she actually ended up having. She wasn't entirely sure what, but she was sure of one thing. It involved touch.]

Terrible, Max... [Pause.] Which has nothing to do with you... I think something's going on, and it seems to happen every time I touch someone. So, can we... can we keep this to the phone for the moment? Please? I do ... I do not want what I'm experiencing right now to involve you. Gods, no. I don't think I could handle that.

[The thought of hearing what was in Max's head was both tantalizing and enough to make her want to lose her lunch. She was scared even to be in the same room as her or Chloe right now, and it showed in the quiver of her voice.]

Yes, I'm on the ship. First class actually.

[She cringes at Vira-Lorr's first words, but relaxes a little after the assurances. Still... she's worried. Something's wrong again, already. It feels selfish for some reason, but guilt floods Max in that moment.]

Touch? Why? Does it- does it hurt?

Hurt? Oh... no, not physically. I'd... I'd hear your thoughts. Your actual thoughts about me, and then no matter how good, how bittersweet, how loving or hurt they were? No matter what they were, I'd get paranoid. Almost terrified of being anywhere near you. I'd freak out, and ...

... [Cringe]

I don't want that, Max. I can already imagine the fake paranoia and what it would do. You don't deserve it, and neither of us needs it. Especially because I'm pretty sure the paranoia's all been fabrications in my head.

[Oh... damn.]

Yeah, we... definitely don't need that right now.

[Or ever. But especially now, with all the lingering awkwardness of New Year's.]

When did it start? How did it start?

Thank you for being understanding...

[She breathed a sigh of relief that was audible in her voice. Honestly? She was ok with where they were at right now. Very much ok with it. But, she knew that what she was going through would turn with 'I'm ok with this' into a hellstorm of broiling emotions nobody needed to deal with, especially when they were basically fabricated.]

It... Ok, do not take this the wrong way. I am almost 100% certain it has nothing to do with you, but it happened right after the rewind. When I left you, the person I ended up kissing for new years, I had a bad reaction to.

I ... think it would have happened to us on New Years if you hadn't rewound things. I'm pretty sure it's some sort of weird personal new years curse for me. We're fortunate on more than one ground you did that.

[Part of that was flagrantly made up. She didn't know for sure if it wasn't a side effect of things, but she was choosing to assume it wasn't. That had never happened before with rewinds, and she knew it had happened before. On top of that, she did not want Max to feel any nerves right now about that whole situation.]

It may be Deerington toying with me because I'm physical and this boat makes it hard to avoid people.

[Max tries to absorb Vira-Lorr's instruction to "not take this the wrong way," but that's exactly where her mind goes. The thought that they had avoided it happening to them is a little comforting, but...

Max shakes her head. Selfish. This isn't about her. It's about Vira-Lorr.]

You are... pretty physical.

[It's a weak attempt at a joke, but it was there and she went for it.]

So you've just been isolating yourself? [Max doesn't like that.] There's got to be something we can do. Something to fix it. Right?

I am, am I not...? [A little tired laugh. She could cop to that at least right now, couldn't she?] And no, I haven't been isolating myself. Not completely. The boat doesn't allow that, not without taking all of my food in the room, and that hasn't been close to viable.

...

Not to mention the sleepwalking is still going on, and that doesn't help at all.

...

[This is sounding worse and worse. It's starting to get to the point that Max is unsure what to make of it.]

Vira-Lorr, are you... okay? Like in general? I'm starting to feel like you need a really, really long vacation. [A pause.] No offense or anything, it's just so... one thing after another.

I... am ok. I am as ok as someone can be here. It's just... problems because of dying, on top of this curse and being on this blasted boat. I'm stressed. I'm drawn. I'm not myself, and I'm... realizing that some things about me are not quite as perfect as I used to think they were.

So, no. I suppose I'm in a bad place right now, but I will be ok. I survived a century of war. I can suffer a bad month. I promise. Who knows? I might even learn something? [Hah, hehe... that was a bitter laugh.]

[The realization that you're not all you think you are... Max doesn't envy that feeling at all, and hearing Vira-Lorr go through it is saddening.] There's loads about you that's better than you think, you know.

[She means it.]

Just promise me you'll come out the other side of that month still the great person you are.

mmm, thank you for saying that. [She sighed and raked her hand through her hair, laughing bitterly and shaking her head.] I don't always think so, but I am still pretty great aren't I?

[That ego was only half felt at the moment.]

But don't you worry. I don't plan on changing too much. I'll probably still be touchy feely when this ends.

...a week after it ends.

You are.

[She's quick to throw that in before Vira-Lorr can take back her self-compliment.]

Hey, a week of recovery is hella fair. You deserve that much. Then you'll be back to your "watch me wink with two eyes and make you uncomfortable" self.

Careful there. I enjoy making you blush, you should know. [She laughed again. Forced, but it felt better.] And I'll have to remember that that can be a little disconcerting.

[Bull, she knew and did it on purpose.]

Pfft. [Yeah, she knows. Or rather, she's finally caught on, after a very long time and some downright blatant hints.] Pretty sure you're gonna do it even more now.

[Damn straight.]

And hey, VL...? I really, really like it that we're friends. Best friends, even. You know that, right?

I have been unleashed with all of my freedom in making people embarrassed, I assure you.

[She smiled over at Max through the feed, resting her chin on her knuckles and nodding. Ok, it still smarted. She'd been trying to move on, which meant trying to decide if she should rebound off of the attempt and considering asking someone out, but it did still smart. Still...]

Now now. Don't butter me up. I'm your Second Best friend. We don't need her to get too jealous, Max. And of course. I'm glad we are too.

[Max holds back the gasp at that retort - barely.]

Hey. People are allowed lots of best friends, you know. It's not a one-and-only thing.

[Alright, alright, step away from this topic right now, before she really says something dumb.]

Promise me when you're feeling better we'll go and grab some ice cream together or something. Or whatever's available here, anyway.

[She snickered, opting to not dig in further. It was fun to tease, but always risky to keep going at it. The offer, though, definitely had her attention.]

You know, there actually is an ice cream stand if you want to meet up there. I hear their stuff is good and never cursed.

The one in town?

[Their old haunt. Max would like that a lot... assuming they got back there in one piece.]

Yeah. I'd like that. Once you're feeling better, though...

[Definitely not risking all that emotional turmoil right now. Definitely.]

... yeah, you have a point. We're trapped here. But I think they have shaved ice with a syrup that is rather like those snow cones. I could get you into the 1st class section if you wanted to try.

Once... Once... Once I can be safe around you, first though. Ok?

Yes. Definitely only then.

[For both their sakes.]

Looking forward to it, Vira-Lorr.

Deerington Inbox

[Voice | un: timeisbunk] Sometime early January, after the New Year party.

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